Due to the fact that this blog is public, I don't have the liberty to go into details, but let's just say that in the past month I truly, honestly, and passionately felt God speaking to me as if I had been standing in a dark room, and BAM the lights were turned on and I could see everything so clearly...
and now - due to a strange and unexpected turn of events - all that passion, vision, understanding, and clarity seem to be for not. It's as if God is saying, "Hey Brian - you know all that stuff I downloaded in your spirit with passion and fire...nevermind, I was just kidding."
Of course, I'm mature enough to know that God has everything planned out, and that I will look back some day and understand the reasoning behind everything, but in the meantime it sure seems weird.
In this time of wondering, I'm reminded that things like "vision, passion, dreams, movement, Kingdom advancement, and other cool stuff are not to be the things pursued. Ever. The pursuit must be Christ and Him alone. To be closer to Him, to understand Him, to die to self that I might more like Him. God doesn't promise cool stuff - he promises Himself...and if we think that's not good enough, then we don't understand the power and fullness of his suffering, death, and resurrection.
I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
- Lamentations 3:24
amen.
2 comments:
I've been there man. It's so frustrating when you think that God told you one thing only to find out that you're going in a different direction.
It's too long of a story to go into here in a comment but we had a similar experience about a year ago when God called us to leave Fort Wayne to plant this church. We knew the "What" of what we were going to do but the "How" and "When" was the part we mixed up.
In everything, God is faithful though. Keep trusting him in spite of the changing directions.
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